Our Stories of Brokenness….

I have been following a blog by author, Bonnie Gray, for some time now and I have also read her book, “Finding Spiritual Whitespace”.

She is a gifted writer, who shares her story and her soul. Her voice is pure, calming and inspiring.

At the end of this post I will share a link to an article she wrote, please take the time to read it. She expresses what is in my heart.

The enemy continues to try and quiet my voice…to not share my journey, especially in the midst of this painful time in my marriage.

I sometimes daily battle the urge to appear to have it all together, to offer only what I think people need, what I think it is they want. To offer a false self to them and even to my husband.

Why?

Because I’ve always felt this  pressure to seem unbroken, especially as a good Christian woman.

But I am finding that in my support groups this isn’t the case. We are all there because we are broken and there is no denying it or hiding it.

But really! Who wants to appear broken, doubtful, uncertain and in pain…..who wants their words to be misunderstood, used against them or wrong assumptions to be made? 

Bonnie Gray encourages me with these words:

“It’s hard to write and put our stories out there, but I passionately believe every part of our journey is soul beautiful with Jesus.

It’s our authentic stories that frees people to see that Jesus real, loving, beautiful and alive. Right now through you and me. As is.

The world longs to know God through real people. Your voice. Your story.

Love the world by letting God love us — through our stories.”

Maybe, just maybe, it’s time for all of us to not give up, to be courageous, to keep trying, to not let our voices be silenced any longer.

Telling your story is really about finding and using your voice. Be kind to yourself and listen to the parts of your story that want to be told.

I love what Bonnie Gray points out in her article-

“I thought about God — how did He decide what to include, given this is His only written book about Himself? Talk about stress and pressure to pick and choose!

But, God didn’t choose to write a book of rules or formulas. God chose to write a book about real people — His favorite stories of those He loved.

These were real people, all journeying through different human experiences.  God did not choose to edit out tragedy, betrayal, and brokenness.  He included it all”

And isn’t it true, it is in the midst of these broken, authentic stories that God shows such grace and beauty!

http://www.faithbarista.com/2015/04/im-writing-about-sexual-abuse-today/

For your weekend…..

May your weekend be filled with constant reminders that the world can spin without your help.

May you make peace with weakness, inadequacy, and uncertainty and welcome the unique gifts they carry with them.

When you find yourself in a situation where anxiety threatens to overwhelm you, take a few moments to breathe in truth and breathe out belief.

Rehearse the companionship of Jesus.

Practice your new identity.

Carry around the stunning, remarkable truth that God is a friend and you have not been left alone.

Enjoy your weekend, friends.

Emily P. Freeman

Of Men and Angels

Today while standing in a spacious bookstore I picked up a book about letting go of spiritual burdens.  As I touched the pages I felt a great comfort, remembering with gratitude a God who lifts burdens like mine.  

“Excuse me.”  The stranger’s voice startled me.  I looked up to see a confident and attractive man, maybe five or ten years younger than me.  Confused, I wondered if I’d given him the impression that I worked there.  If you had offered me a million guesses I could have never predicted what would come out of his mouth next:  “I think you’re GORGEOUS!”.  With that and a smile, he simply spun around and walked away.  By the time I had recovered enough to stammer ‘thank you’ he was safely out of hearing range.

Sometimes I wonder if angels still roam the earth, disguised as men.

Acknowledging the wound….

…..He made us accepted in the Beloved- Ephesians 1:6

 

All too often at the heart of every woman afraid to call herself beautiful is a woman who has been wounded. And I’ve learned over the years that avoiding beauty or refusing to pursue it is self-protection.

 

Why is it in our hearts we believe that we’ll never be good enough, that we will never be accepted? For too many years, and still do at times, I felt that I was ugly or plain….the ugly duckling, one who could never call herself beautiful. Truthfully, I didn’t want to feel the pain of my childhood or the choices I had made.

 

Do you remember the fairy tale of the mermaid girl who longed to be beautiful? Her mother would clip sea shells on her tail, and as the girl cried out, her mother reminded her that beauty must hurt. Today that is a true statement for many of us…beauty does hurt, but for a different reason.

 

It hurts to open ourselves up again to disappointment and rejection. Acknowledging our desire for beauty can reopen wounds we’ve fought to close. We chose silence hoping it would heal us, and avoidance would help us to forget.

 

But the little girl inside us, who longed to be beautiful, to be accepted, is still there. So what do we do with her?

In Luke 18: 16, Jesus said, “Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for such is the kingdom of God.”

 

Are we willing to bring the little girl inside of us to Jesus? Or are we too afraid?

 

Women, Jesus will accept us just as we are. He will protect us, and give us courage to believe again. Jesus will allow us to believe again in love and beauty, and in a God who will always call us Beautiful!!

 

Jesus, we bring to you the little girl inside of each of us, thank you Jesus that you accept her just as she is……come Lord Jesus to your women, come Holy Spirit….protect us and give us the courage to believe….to believe again in love and beauty and in You Lord, a God who will always call us beautiful. Give to each woman reading here a supernatural vision of how You see her…..before others can see our feminine beauty we must first shed the cloak of aloofness and acknowledge that we need You Father to heal our hearts…set us free…..
….no longer do we want silence to heal us, or avoidance to make us forget…..we acknowledge that the little girl inside us who longed to be to be accepted, to be beautiful, to be seen and cherished is still inside….only You Lord can come and rescue her and heal her……restore to us a Holy passion.
Father God- heal our wounds….come Lord Jesus come….

Unexpected Grace

I went to the river to find beauty.  I was hoping to catch an intensely beautiful sunrise to salve the sting of a bitter disappointment.  But the dense cloud cover from a brooding storm made the event a royal let-down.  The resignation in my heart spoke first.

‘Par for the course’,  I thought.  Have you ever seen a young child disappointed?  Unfamiliar with the possibility of failure a child makes his plans without a remote consideration that he might not get what he wants.  When I see such a child watch the object of his affection slip away I can barely tolerate it.  ‘That kid needs to toughen up’, I like to think to myself.  You just can’t be so vulnerable.

How quickly the ambivalence of cynicism rears its ugly head against desire’s fearlessness.  Excuses spring up like weeds.  Sour grapes.

Two swans sliced their way across the river without a ripple — one directly behind the other.  I immediately thought of God and me.  I so wanted the swan in the back to catch up to the leader, to experience the intimacy I desperately long for.  As I watched the gliding race, the gap between the swans would shorten then widen again without warning.  I watched in frustration, until I understood the truth.  The point of my life is not how close or how far I feel from God.  The point of my life is that I follow Him.  Wind and current and a hundred conditions I can’t explain can pull and push and pressure me to give up hope.  But like the swans I saw on the river, the glory and grace of my journey is to glide along with my eyes on Him.  As I turned to leave the two swans were resting in the shallow water together — face to face.