An Apology to a Brave Man

Mar15

My husband is a brave man. He has been reading my blog posts even though he is aware that the words he reads will in all likelihood pierce his heart as he continues to learn of the effects his pornography addiction has had on me and our children.

After reading Hope is Scary, he gently brought to my attention an error that I had made in expressing his feelings in my story. My husband was disappointed to not consummate our marriage on our wedding night. I am grateful for his correction as it has taught me a valuable lesson early in the communicating of my story. I am telling my story, not his, and although the two are closely intertwined as our story, I cannot presume to know his feelings and thoughts on all the situations I may write about.

I wrote in truth my perception and feelings based on my reality and memories. And I will continue to do so because it is the truth and reality of the life I have lived. What I will no longer do is transfer my perceptions onto my husband as being his truth.

I apologize to my husband, my biggest fan and supporter, for this unintentional yet hurtful blunder.

And I apologize to tamarshope and the readers of Tears in a Bottle for the inaccuracy. It is my hope that you will extend grace to me as I stumble and learn to find my voice. It is my hope that you will continue along with me and my husband as we walk hand in hand with each other and God on our healing journey.

 

9 thoughts on “An Apology to a Brave Man”

  3. Cynthia, I believe that the story would not have been complete without telling the whole story. I agree your story is YOUR story and not your husband’s..HOWEVER, he is a significant part of your story. I think you are a brave woman for sharing.

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  4. Thank you for your words of encouragement. I am humbled by your early support, and apologize for not responding at the time. Believe it or not, it was scarier for me to acknowledge and accept your love, grace and kindness than to write the post. Somehow I felt the risk of exposure. I thank you for offering your beautiful hearts to me…..

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    • Thank you for your kind words. I am finding writing and telling my story to be healing and freeing. It is somehow different than privately journaling it. And it is wonderful having my husband as my biggest fan and supporter! Blessings to you as well!

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  6. You want to know something Cynthia? I had no idea why I felt lead to go back to the beginning of your blog. It was just a tug.

    Now, I know why. I had to read this. When I started writing my blog and sharing what I felt I did the same as you. The difference is that your husband reads your blog while my ex-wife doesn’t read mine, but a lot of our mutual friends do. One of them called me out one day and I did have to tell them that what I wrote was what I saw, what I felt and how it affected me.

    Now, that I have read this, I need to put a disclaimer of sorts if I wrote about those type of things again.

    Thank for this. This took strength.

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