“You haven’t done this before. Ask, using my name, and you will receive, and you will have abundant joy.” John 16:24
I wasted way too many years searching for approval, acceptance and significance. I spent years waiting for, hoping for, and seeking the words of others hoping they would bring healing to my fractured and wounded heart.
I became a people pleaser early in life. One of the people with whom I tried desperately to get the approval of was the uncle who raised me, who I called dad. I so very much wanted him to speak words of love and affirmation.
Deep down I wanted what every little girl desires, to be told I was beautiful, that I was of value, that I was wanted and cherished…..but he never uttered those words. His heart was hard and calloused, and he saw any sentimental emotion as weak. Yet, in all sincerity I do believe he truly didn’t know how to communicate to what the heart of a little girl longed to hear.
Later I looked to boyfriends, wanting to know they found me desirable….always looking for that elusive fix that would mend my broken and bruised heart.
And I compared myself to my girlfriends and to my high school classmates but I was always found lacking. I was always keenly aware of what I was not: I was not the cute girl, I was not the popular girl, I was not the rich girl, I was not the smart girl, I was not the girl all the boys talked about (at least not in a positive way) and I was definitely not the girl that all the other girls wanted to be like because I was the girl who gave too much of herself away for bread crumbs of love, snippets of approval and moments of acceptance….the girl child whose body was used for others gratification….the girl from the wrong side of the tracks….
I am reluctant to say that from time to time throughout my life I have fallen again into the same trap, the same way of thinking…. Comparing myself to other women and all I see is what they have that I don’t….comparing my gifts, or personality, or looks, or weight, and the list could go on….
Thankfully though, over the years I’ve come to discover that as long as I look to others, or even imagine their opinions of me, then I am looking to their opinions to have the power to heal….and as long as I am looking to others then I won’t be listening for God’s voice….and His voice is the true voice of healing!!
Have you, like me, looked to the past…still waiting for those voices of long ago to whisper those longed for words of approval….those words of acceptance and significance, believing they will bring healing to your wounded and fractured heart.
How many of us dream of going back to our high school reunions singing the popular Toby Keith song: How do you like me now???
Friends, let me tell you a truth that I have discovered….the one (or ones) who wounded and hurt you cannot heal you!!
I love the words of Ginger Garrett in her book, A Woman’s Path to Inner Beauty, where she talks about taking our wounds to God. What are we to do with our wounds? She says: “I believe our wounds are invitations for miracles….these sores persist by the grace of God to bring you a deeper healing than you ever thought possible. Your hurts remain because they need a supernatural salve. God love to tend to His daughters. He wants to heal your wounds.”
I echo her words with a loud resounding AMEN!!! Our heavenly Father is a God of lavish love, extravagant miracles, incredible gifts, and immeasurable care.
We can trust Him with our wounds…. my friends, God is waiting to do a miracle when we bring our whole selves, wounds, hurts, bruises and all, choosing to no longer hide or cover up our wounds- they are never insignificant, too small, too much, too long buried, too old…the miraculous awaits you!!!
Isaiah 42: 3- “God won’t brush aside the bruised and the hurt and he won’t disregard the small and insignificant”
Father God, I give you all of myself today, my past, my present and my future. I pray in faith in the name of my Savior Jesus Christ and because of His work on the cross I am believing that You will heal my wounds, bind up my broken heart and show me Your miraculous love….I wait Lord for Your healing touch….