When we begin to uncover, or admit the effects of abuse in our lives, we sometimes experience feelings that we’ve never had before.
Sometimes it seems when Pandora’s Box is opened so to speak, more painful memories and issues begin to rise up than we bargained for and we feel overwhelmed. Sometimes even physically we feel unfamiliar sensations in our bodies….or perhaps something happens that triggers a memory and we find ourselves reacting in ways that are not typical for us.
I well remember the time in my life when I unlocked the trunks that I had kept hidden in the basement of my soul. I had tried so hard to keep the memories and feelings of abuse locked away, hidden and out of sight…..when I finally unlocked that trunk and everything came spilling out it caused disorder and confusion… it felt like pandemonium…and feelings of chaos poured out.
And as much as I wanted to flee from this process I knew I had to stay the course…to trust my Heavenly Father in and through this process, no matter how long it took.
I soon discovered that growth always involved time and struggle and I discovered early on that growth and healing was God’s plan. As much as my goal in the beginning was to alleviate the pain, my Heavenly Father had other plans. His goal was love.
As I said earlier, my first response was to flee from His process. How could I feel safe in the midst of this process when I seldom felt safe? Maybe like me your childhood was not a safe place. Or maybe we felt safe for awhile until that safety was betrayed or we were deceived. So we learned to invest a lot of energy into keeping ourselves safe.
God gave me many verses in His Word that I clung to….His Word fed me and kept me going….
You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. Isaiah 26:3
Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The LORD, the LORD, is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation.” Isaiah 12: 2
“You are my hiding place, you always fill my heart with songs of deliverance, and whenever I am afraid I will trust in you.”
In time I learned to let go and trust Him, to not run, to not feel guilty when I felt weak and imperfect, when I couldn’t fix this myself….I learned to become dependent on God.
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers” Romans 8:28-29 (NIV). In Romans 8
In this verse God’s promise to us is that when we are ravaged by another person’s sinful choices, He will work future good out of our tragedy. For a believer, God is present in it all; He is present in our journey of healing, taking the pain and transforming it into a series of opportunities to know Him more intimately and to become more like Him.
Our Heavenly Father comforts us in our losses. He strengthens us, and He leads us into abundant life. And I believe He uses our past pain and wounds as a way to give us opportunities, to comfort others with the comfort that God himself has given us. God is a God of redemption and He knows He can redeem your situation with your willing cooperation. Although at the time we don’t see it God knows that what the enemy meant for evil, He can transform into something good and something redeemed….
….we will reflect the glory of His Son.