I’ve decided to take some time and reflect on self-care….this is something that I still struggle with from time to time, maybe I am alone in this but I don’t think so. Victims of abuse often attempt to make up for negative feelings about themselves by taking extra good care of others.
As I’ve been doing some pondering I realized that although I’ve come a long way in this area I still struggle at times with self-care. Here are some things I’ve discovered; it takes great effort to give myself guilt free time to rest…although I long for it; it seems to be hard to do. There are still times when I treat myself with harshness and push on until I get sick. And what about the times I push myself at work and then ask myself why do I do that. Is it because I have a difficult time never saying no, never stating any limit of how much I can reasonably accomplish?
Am I alone in this or have you ever felt like you are doing too much as well, but keep pushing harder and harder anyway? Or maybe you don’t work too hard but perhaps treat yourself in a way that you wouldn’t dream of treating others. Are you impatient or intolerant of yourself, do you get easily annoyed with yourself, or tell yourself lies?
In my journey I have found that learning to take care of my needs will be a struggle when we are recovering from abuse.
Because abuse taught us that our needs don’t matter. But the messages of abuse are wrong.
I’ve read that abusers urge us to take care of them to excess, and to discount and ignore our own needs.
We’ve been well-trained to consider any self-care as “selfish.”
Part of my recovery journey has been learning to notice my own needs and then learn to care for myself. I am still in a place of figuring this out. Will you journey with me as we explore self-care and how we treat ourselves with love and respect?