I lived most of my childhood in fear. Afraid of the dark, afraid to go to sleep because of the recurring nightmares, afraid of being left home alone during the day, afraid of being sent to a reform school (I was always threatened with that), afraid of people, afraid of life.
Even though I did not know God while growing up, I knew about Him. We went to church occasionally and even Sunday School once in awhile. So I believed there was a God somewhere out there.
Yet, as I have looked back I’ve seen the times when God’s hand was upon my life, helping me to go on.
I remember one time in particular. We lived in a two story house and my bedroom was on the second floor and the bathroom was in the basement. One night I had to go to the bathroom, and I knew I would get in trouble if I put any lights on, so I would have to make my way in the dark until I got to the basement stairs and there I could put on a light.
As I said, I was very afraid of the dark probably because there were times when I would be disciplined they would make me sit on the basement stairs with the door closed and the lights off for long periods of time. It was pitch black on those stairs, so dark I could barely see my hand in front of my face.
Well, I finally got up the courage to go to the bathroom. Once I was finished and I was at the bottom of the stairs in the basement ready to head back up, the light suddenly went out. I don’t know why or how because nobody was up, but the light went out and it was totally black. And there I was at the bottom of the stairs in the basement, frozen, unable to move.
I finally worked up the courage and began ascending the stairs, very slowly, holding onto the side of the wall. I was trembling with fear, hardly breathing when suddenly, I felt a calmness and peace surround me and the sense of being carried up the stairs. Once I was at the top it felt like my feet once again touched the floor and on my own I made it the rest of the way to my bedroom.
To this day, I know that God placed one of His angels beside me to help carry me up the stairs. I will never forget the peace that surrounded me. So even back then as a small child, God was watching over me and I had a guardian angel.