Interesting that after I wrote the post “Can we take her home” this morning, I believe the Lord showed me some things regarding this memory.
And this memory has to do with fear and changing my expectations.
Let me share with you another story- “A king wanted to find out whether his kingdom contained more weeds or more flowers. He called two men into his court. To the first he gave the assignment of cataloging all the weeks in his kingdom. The second man was given the assignment of cataloging all the flowers. They were given two months to complete their assignments.
At the end of two months they returned to the king. The first said, “O mighty king, your kingdom is covered in weeds! It’s a horrible sight! You must do something about it! It’s sad to have so many weeds overrunning your kingdom.”
The second man said,”O mighty king, your kingdom is absolutely overrun with flowers of every kind and color. They are glorious. They make your kingdom fresh and alive. It is a joy to be part of your kingdom.”
What we expect to see colors what we do see in life.
Could it be that this couple who wanted to take me home truly saw a child that they simply wanted to love. No ulterior motives, no evil intent. Maybe they did see a precious child, fair skinned and blonde, shy and yet friendly.
I am learning, ever so slowly, that sometimes in dealing with fear I need to change my expectations. Yes I was hurt once, no make that many times, and I did not enter life expecting to be abused, but I have to believe that there are not just weeds in the kingdom….. there are flowers in the kingdom if I wish to find them, if I wish to see them.
My life, like yours is not ruined because of weeds unless we decide to quit on ourselves. When we do our abusers win.
So could it be that we tend to both see and experience that which we expect? Perhaps we need to change our expectations.
Could it be that we need to see ourselves with fresh eyes? To ask our Father to give us a vision of how He sees us? Just as I looked back and saw a little girl with ears too big and bad teeth, perhaps this couple saw a little girl completely different.
My husband often tells me that he wishes I could see myself as he sees me or as others see me. If I choose to do that then I have to admit that I am lovable, that I have qualities worth admiring, and yet that stirs up in me the old fear of expecting to be abused, expecting pain, seeing the negative side of things, suspicious of others motives…..although -this is slowly changing…..maybe this is one more small step in overcoming fear…..small steps, one at a time, pushing the edges further and further….to stop would be quitting on myself and because God does not give up on me neither will I.
So I ask you…does what you expect to see color what you do see in life?