We get drunk to numb the pain. We get high to forget the pain. But when we sober up the pain is there waiting for us. We eat compusively to cover up the pain. We throw up and eat more because when we stop the pain is still there. We push the pain away. We deny it. We belittle it and fool ourselves away from feeling it. We feel nothing. We are empty. We are numb. We slice and cut our flesh to focus the pain. We pick, bruise, and bite ourselves. We pull out our hair. We spend money. We shop. We gamble. We go into debt to push away the pain. We hide from love to protect our hearts from suffering more pain. We accept less, we expect less, we settle for less to assuage the pain. We look for love, we long for acceptance, we seek after glory because we fear the pain. We fear that if we for one moment give our hearts a voice we will be lost in it. We will be overtaken in the waves and we will lose our very soul.
We have forgotten our Savior. We have forgotten that He has promised to hold us up and guide us through. We must believe that we can feel and not get lost. That He is faithful to love and faithful to strengthen and that in the end He will wipe away every tear from our eyes.