Drawing me closer

I shouldn’t have the life I have.  I should be dead or strung out on drugs or living on the street.  I can’t explain why I escaped all that.  No one can except to say that God loves me.  He has shown His love to me again and again and again.  I had no choice but to stop doubting His love a long time ago.

Yet I hold back.  I feel like an autistic person when it comes to God.  Love me God, but don’t look me in the eye.  It’s too intense, just too…  much.  I want authentic intimacy with God – I long for it.  I just keep getting awkwardly in the way.  But little by little He draws me closer.  No.  That’s not right.  He invites me closer.  He asks me.  And He waits.

One thought on “Drawing me closer

  1. For years I was sure those things would happen to me: dependency and losing everything, living under the bridge. I knew I was not strong enough. I had proved talented and capable when disciplined, but I could not remain so. Now I see I am not afraid of those any more. He has brought me to some safety. If it were up to me, that’s where I would be. My life is a miracle. He has taken care of me like of an infant.


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