A Psalm For Women October 29, 2009

A Psalm For Women

“Shalom, daughters of God!

Your Father is pleased with you.

How good it is to be called to serve in the household of God.

Thus saith the Lord, ‘Give flesh to the Word of life,

break the bread of justice,

feed all who hunger to take their place at the table.

Lift the cup of freedom filled with the saving blood of Christ who lived and died for us all.

The Child of God was born of woman,

God first chose a woman to lead the opening liturgy of the Incarnate Word.

Now every woman ever after shares in the ministry of the women of Galilee.

Now is the day of deliverance.

Now is the appointed time.

You are the good news God proclaims…

women, claim your freedom,

 live your sacred calling

… you are daughters of God.”

WomanWord (Adapted)

For Glory and Beauty February 27, 2009

 ”You are to weave the tunic from fine linen, make a turban of fine linen, and make an embroidered sash.  Make tunics, sashes, and headbands for Aaron’s sons to give them glory and beauty. Put these on your brother Aaron and his sons; then anoint,  ordain, and consecrate them, so that they may serve Me as priests.”

Exodus 28: 39 – 41     (Holman Christian Standard Bible)

 

To give them glory and beauty.  That phrase jumped off the page into my heart this week and I’ve been musing over it ever since.  I’m not sure I have figured out exactly what it means but I’m sure that it’s important.  In Exodus, God paints a picture of the sacred with a fine tipped brush.  And that picture is astoundingly beautiful.  Each detail of the tabernacle, the sacrifices, and the garments of the priests sends us a mandate of holiness.  But that holiness is not and can never be our own.  With each clue in this book I’ve unravelled, I’ve fallen more deeply in love with my Savior and what He has done for me.

The Glory and Beauty of our God overflows into the lives of His children.  He adorns us, anoints us, ordains us, and consecrates us to serve Him as priests.  We reflect His Glory and radiate His Beauty to the universe.   In the light of His loving sacrifice we become the men and women He always meant for us to be.

Our Duty February 7, 2009

It is up to us

to hallow Creation,

to respond to Life

with the fullness of our lives.

It is up to us 

to meet the World,

the embrace the Whole

even as we wrestle

with its parts.

It is up to us

to repair the World

and to bind our lives to the Truth.

 

Therefore we bend the knee

and shake off the stiffness that keeps us

from the subtle graces of Life 

and the supple gestures of Love.

With reverence

and thanksgiving

we accept our destiny

and set for ourselves 

the task of redemption.

– Rami M. Shapiro

 

I love this Jewish prayer.  It reminds me that it’s OK to embrace God’s love and healing even though I still struggle with the details.  It reminds me that works of redemption and maturity are my sacred duty that makes the world a better place.  It reminds me that prayer is the pathway to wholeness for myself and for those I love.

God bless you dear reader.

Peace,

Lisa

A Beautiful Funeral January 24, 2009

Sometimes I think about my funeral.  Over the years I’ve had the opportunity to attend many funerals, some of people I knew well and some of people I barely knew at all.  Years ago I attended the saddest funeral ever.  My husband was there; he gave the eulogy.  I came and brought our young daughter.  An orderly from the hospital came and brought his wife and daughter with him.  That was it – six people – all strangers really.  I had met the deceased only one time.  We went to visit him when he called from the hospital.  I still wonder how he got our phone number.  We talked for about an hour; his story full of bitterness and regret.  It really makes you think about how you treat people.  This man lived a full life but left no one behind to honor and mourn him.  So sad.

This week I attended a beautiful funeral.  A healthy forty year old woman died unexpectedly.  I’ve never seen our little church building so crowded.  Every chair was filled and visitors stood along the walls and overflowed into the lobby.  While there were plenty of tears and grief at a life cut too short, we really came together to say goodbye and celebrate a wonderful woman’s life.  We shared stories, laughed, and remembered the many ways she had touched us before moving on.  I want to earn a funeral like that one.

 I sang two songs in front of all those people.  Three of us sang together, two old hymns.  For the first time in my life I didn’t feel nervous.  I didn’t think about how I looked or how I sounded.  I thought about my friend who had died and all the people there who had come to say goodbye.  And I thought about the words to the songs.  One of them went like this.

Tempted and tried we’re oft made to wonder,

Why it should be thus all the day long.

While there are others living about us,

Never molested though in the wrong.

Farther along we’ll know all about it.

Farther along we’ll understand why.

Cheer up my brother live in the sunshine.

We’ll understand it all by and by.

 

Sabbath Rest January 21, 2009

“Why, I feel all thin, sort of stretched, if you know what I mean: like butter that has been scraped over too much bread….”

Bilbo Baggins to Gandalf, from The Fellowship of the Ring by J.R.R Tolkien

 

Yep, that pretty much describes what I’ve been feeling….no, this is not a post where I am whining and complaining, rather I am becoming consciously aware that the signs for rest have been there and in my busyness I have ignored them.

 

I’ve been studying about the Sabbath rest….how God balanced work and rest in a healthy rhythm. He created for six days and then guiltlessly ceased from His labor on the 7th. He stepped back from all of it and feasted, enjoyed all that He had done. I am realizing even more that He designed me/us for the need to pause, to be restored and to rest. The need for Sabbath.

 

Tilden Edwards in his book, Sabbath Time, says that we should find a balance between surrendering to the busy demands of our culture and totally withdrawing from it. “Christian Sabbath”, he writes, “refers both to a special day of the week, and to a special quality of time available daily.” It is in this structural and symbolic context that I am beginning to practice Sabbath rest.

Author Abraham Heschel also describes the Sabbath as the state wherein we lie still, where the weary are at rest. He speaks about how we have fallen victim to the work of our hands, and he cautions that we have neglected the pursuit of the eternal in the pursuit of the temporary.

 

Sadly, sometimes I work more than I sabbath because I believe that I am somehow earning extra points with God. I must always be doing, laboring, working, striving. The Holy Spirit has to remind me that God’s grace, not my work, has secured my standing. Christ invites me to slow down. And so when I read Matthew 11:28-29, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls”, the words pierce my heart with joy as I drag my weary soul around….

 

It is in the quietness that Christ whispers to my soul, “Welcome to the grace that offers rest.”

 

Because it is in this grace that I begin to put into practice and receive the spirit of sabbath rest. It begins to bring balance to my soul. God spoke to Moses through a burning bush and said, “Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy ground.” So that means that any place where God reveals Himself is holy ground….

And I really understood for the first time today that the Sabbath was the first thing God declared to be holy. God declared His work on the first six days as good, but He named the day of rest as “holy”. It’s these Sabbath moments when I take the time to catch my breath that God reveals Himself…and these moments are holy….and just like Moses I remove my sandals.

 

“Rest is a decision we make. Rest is

choosing to do nothing when we have too much to do, slowing down

when we feel pressure to go faster, stopping instead of

starting. Rest is listening to our weariness

and responding to our tiredness, not what is making us tired.

Rest is what happens when we say one simple

word:”NO!”

Unconquered December 13, 2008

What do you think about this poem, Invictus, by William Ernest Henley?

OUT of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

Most people would call it a very un-Christian poem.  On face value, I would have to agree.  After all, isn’t Christianity about submitting our lives and will to God?  Henley here is anything but submissive.  Yet somehow, I LOVE this poem.  

This poem speaks to me of freedom and of courage.  I think free will, freedom, must be God’s greatest and most painful gift.  I wonder if the stars in the heavens gasped a collective breath when God had the mettle to place the gift of freedom in the hands of corruptible human beings.  Freedom admits the possibility of the billions of ways fellow humans violate one another and yet, He valued us enough to place it in our hands.  How painful it must be for Him, as loving Father, to watch what we’ve done with it, even knowing that in the end most of us would blame him for the consequences of the choices that we’ve made.  How great a gift!  How costly!

And then there’s courage.  I’ve begun to think that courage is the most important thing.  Yes, love… love is the most valuable thing in the universe.  But what is love without courage?  Without courage love wilts and dies before it blooms.  Courage births and sustains love.  It testifies that God exists and that divinity is native to the human heart.  And courage partnered with love is an unconquerable combination.  It is the formula for faith.  Courage with love allows a single person to resist the pressure of a crowd; a peasant to stand against a king; a child to say ‘no’.

You survived.  You chose to live, bloody but unbowed.  You are unconquered.

 

Thankful Musings November 27, 2008

Today in America is a day to give thanks.  I must have more reason than anyone I know to be grateful.  Here are just a few:

• two beautiful and intelligent daughters who love me and their dad and God
• a strong and good husband who loves me enough to die for me
• a church family where I feel at home and loved and accepted
• friends for the journey who really care
• this blog where I can express myself
• my blogging partner who is a faithful sister to me
• readers who take the time to stop by and offer an encouraging comment or share a common struggle
• a job I really enjoy that provides for my family (that means a lot to a kid who grew up on welfare)
• the beginnings of long awaited healing with the promise of more
• courage to take a hard look inside myself and ease the grip of fear
• God – my true King and Lord and Father – who still hasn’t given up on me

What are some things you are thankful for?

An Orphan no More November 1, 2008

I’ve been spending way too much time fantasizing about getting adopted.  Yes, me a middle aged woman who is married with children.  I want to be adopted.  I think (maybe I hope) this preoccupation is part of a grieving and healing path I’m on.  I think it brings me comfort even though it’s painful to spend so much energy in wishing for it.  I think dwelling on this is part of letting go, of permanently admitting that my biological parents can’t give me what I need, that they never really could.

Here’s how the fantasy goes for me.  I go somewhere new, maybe a spiritual retreat or workshop.  I meet a couple in their 60’s or 70’s; smart, funny, cool and very wise.  We hit it off.  We ‘click’.  They quickly see me for who I am and accept me.  They like being with me.  They have been looking for me.  We hang out, talk, maybe share a couple of meals.  We promise to keep in touch and surprisingly, we do.  Our friendship grows, deepens, strengthens with time.  It steps up to the point where I call them every week.  If I don’t call them, they call me, just to check because they wondered why I didn’t call.  I start to send them cards on mothers’ day, fathers’ day, birthdays.  I send them flowers at Christmastime.  They always ask about my kids and eventually ask to talk to them.  They get to know my husband and welcome him into their lives as well.  Then, we decide we need to get together.  Either they come to visit us, we come to visit them, or we meet somewhere in the middle.  We see the sights, or cook good food, or just hang out.  It doesn’t really matter.  We’re together and they care.  They give me good advice, make sure things are going okay for me and love me.  And…  I let them.

Forgiveness Part 2 – More Stuff Forgiveness is Not October 31, 2008

Continuing on with the last topic…

#6 Forgiveness is not saying ‘it’s OK’ when it’s not OK.  That’s not forgiveness, that’s lying.  There are some times when it really is OK, and at those times saying ‘it’s OK’ is fine.  For example, when there’s been some small infraction that doesn’t require forgiveness — it really is OK.  No harm done.  Or when something happened that was unfortunate, but not wrong. Sometimes you just happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and unknowingly or unwillingly set off a chain of events and cause some minor damage to someone.  In those cases ‘it’s OK’ is a perfectly fine thing to say.  But there are other times when real wrong was committed that steps up to the level that requires real forgiveness.  In those times I can sometimes feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand up straight when I hear the offended party saying ‘it’s OK’.  I think saying that demeans real forgiveness when it happens.  (Don’t worry, I always manage to keep my thoughts to myself.)

#7 Forgiveness is not blocking things out of your mind.  That’s not forgiveness, that’s dissociation and it’s a bad idea.  Take my word for it.  I believe there are some cases where a person could forgive so completely that the offense could be completely forgotten.  But I believe there can also be deep and true forgiveness without forgetting the offense.

#8 Forgiveness is not always preceded by repentance.  Holding out until the person who hurt you repents only hurts you even more.  Sometimes the long awaited apology never comes and sometimes it can’t come because the person who hurt you is dead or you don’t know who he or she is.  I’ve heard people say that God doesn’t expect us to forgive people unless those people are sorry for what they did.  That never made sense to me.  Why should my suffering be compounded by not getting the blessing of forgiving someone because the person who hurt me is unable or unwilling to be sorry for what they did? 

#9 Forgiveness is not easy.  You can’t do it until you are ready.  Sometimes you have to forgive more than once because you get a chance to forgive at deeper and deeper levels when the pain comes back around.  Each chance to forgive again is a blessing, not a failure.

Forgiveness October 29, 2008

I am no expert in forgiveness.  But in my search to give and receive forgiveness I have learned several lessons about what forgiveness is not.

#1 Forgiveness is not forgetting in the sense of letting people continue to hurt you.  You can remove yourself from dangerous or negative situations and still be a forgiving person.  Sometimes the most loving thing you can do for someone who is hurting you is to stop giving them the opportunity to continue hurting you.

#2 Forgiveness is not excusing.  A professional counsellor once told me that I would know when I had forgiven if I could say that the people who hurt me did the best they could do.  I couldn’t disagree more.  First of all, I can’t know for sure if someone did or didn’t do the best they could do because I can’t see their heart.  Second, we all have wounds and our wounds predispose us to hurt each other in ingrained, almost scripted ways but that is completely different from saying people always do the best they can do.  If we always do the best we can do we have no free will and no reason to try to do better.  That’s one philosophy I just can’t stomach.  Third, if there’s a true excuse for what you did then you don’t need to be forgiven because you are already excused for it.

#3 Forgiveness is not restitution.  I guess what I mean is that getting forgiveness is different than paying something back.  If I get mad and throw and smash my daughter’s cell phone I should definitely buy her a new one.  But buying a new cell phone doesn’t automatically make me forgiven.  As a separate issue she can choose to forgive or not forgive me for what I did.  It’s also not the same as trusting me again – like letting me hold her cell phone when I’m angry – but that goes more to point number one.  By the way, I didn’t really smash my daughter’s cell phone or any other cell phones – it was just an example.  I considered going with the neighbor’s broken window story but I think that one gets overdone.

#4 Forgiveness isn’t the same as ‘making up’.  You can’t always make nice with someone – but you can always forgive.

#5 Forgiveness doesn’t always take away the pain.  Sometimes you do everything you can do and still have to live with the consequences.  That works for the one who forgives and the one who is forgiven.

Well, that’s a start.  I have a feeling I have some more learning and some more blog posts about this topic inside of me.  What lessons have you learned about forgiveness?  I really want to know.