The Untold Stories July 30, 2009

This post will be a change in direction from my usual posts but I have felt so burdened as of late…..my heart is heavy and weeps over the cultural oppression & abuse of women in the Middle East… and the oppression & abuse of women in North America as well…indeed around the world.

A young woman we know has just returned from Cambodia after working with the organization called, Daughters of Cambodia. Daughters is a Non Government organization reaching out to victims of sex trafficking in Cambodia. Tragically, a large proportion of the girls and young women are knowingly sold to traffickers or brothels by their families, with children as young as four having been sold into the sex industry in Cambodia. Daughters of Cambodia

Some of the stories she shared broke my heart and I found it hard to get the images out of my mind, almost wishing I’d never heard them…that I could remain blissfully unaware….but I am aware, and I’ve wept deeply…and I’ve felt such anger, anger at the enemy who continues to destroy lives… and I’ve prayed….Oh God, where do I put this, what do I do with this….Lord Jesus come …..come for these children, these women….Oh God…

 

 And I also recieved an email from Lee J. Grady, editor of Charisma magazine regarding the movie about to be released; The Stoning of Soraya M.

And this is his editorial regarding the movie;

The untold story

 

My heart is just so very heavy and burdened today….

When you feel dry…. July 27, 2009

Have you ever felt drained and tired; does the process of healing seem endless? I’ve found there are times when I’ve been focusing on healing from past abuse & issues that it can leave me feeling very drained. And there have been those times when it feels like the process will never end…. and it leaves me thirsting for easier times.

Today as I sit and write there is a light rain falling outside. Although I have taken my watering can and watered my vegetable garden throughout the week, my garden is still dry and parched and huge cracks have formed in the rich, black soil because it is thirsty for the moisture that is falling now.

As it rains I marvel at how the ground eagerly soaks it up, the plants seem to reach for the life giving moisture as it saturates the ground and each plant becomes fortified and invigorated. I’ve also noticed there seems to be a difference in benefit between my watering can and the rainfall…..my sprinkling from the watering can doesn’t seem to deliver as much life as a fresh drenching, soaking rain.

I love to sit and watch the rain, to sit surrounded by the balmy mist and to listen to the sound of the rain drumming a gentle rhythm on the roof. It’s almost as if a magical tranquility takes over. As I watch the splendor of nature unleashed my cares are washed away. Within a few moments I am cleansed and I feel a wonderful sensation of well-being.

My thoughts turn to my Heavenly Father….as good as going to church, reading books or even reading blogs is, and don’t get me wrong~these are needed and they are good, they don’t compare to the soaking, life giving power and strength that is delivered through one-on-one time with our Heavenly Father…spending time with Him and reading His Word gives us life!! Soaking in the Holy Spirits presence and walking with Jesus Christ is irreplaceable.

Today I am reminded that the pain I experience is temporary….life with our Heavenly Father is eternal…. 2 Corinthians 4:17-18 (The Message) “So we’re not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There’s far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can’t see now will last forever.”

I pray today that the Holy Spirit will strengthen you with the outpouring of His love….that God’s love will saturate you today. That today as you walk with Jesus you will know peace and serenity, and a sense of well being will surround you….that just as the rain gives life to the plants it waters, so the Holy Spirit will quench your thirst today…you only need to ask…..be blessed dear readers.

The Art of Letting Go….. July 15, 2009

I came across this several years ago and find that I go back to it now and again….it is a good reminder of how we should let go and what it means to let go. Some people have attachments to others, to money, to beliefs systems or to self-image. Some of us are most attached to how other people think about them, but this leads to suffering.  In letting go, we choose to detach ourselves to preconception, prejudice and judgment. It is not a physical action, letting go of someone doesn’t mean to physically leave or to throw them out of the house. What “letting go” means is detachment and opening your heart.

To “let go” does not mean to stop caring. It means I can’t do it for someone else.
To “let go” is not to cut myself off. It’s the realization that I can’t control another.
To “let go” is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To “let go” is not to try to change or blame another. It’s to make the most of myself.
To “let go” is not to care for, but to care about.
To “let go” is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To “let go” is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
To “let go” is not to be in the middle, arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their own destinies.
To “let go” is not to deny, but to accept.
To “let go” is not to nag, scold, or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To “let go” is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.
To “let go” is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.
To “let go” is to fear less and to love more.

Author Unknown

Keeping it real…. July 13, 2009

I have a confession to make: I am not perfect. Most of my life I have compared myself to others, and guess what~ most of the time I am either critiquing others or critiquing myself because I somehow have fallen short.

Who you read about in these pages (me~tamarshope) is not a spiritual giant….nope, I am just a real, down-to-earth sinner saved by grace….a woman who still sometimes faces daily battles in her mind over things that should have been resolved years ago if one could have achieved perfection in this life!

The only perfect person to ever walk this earth was Jesus Christ 2000 years ago.

Sadly I have lived for so many years with the illusion of perfection. And I have spent so much of my life as the most imperfect perfectionist I know!!!

I knew life was imperfect, but I wanted my own little piece of it to be the most perfect it could be. But several years ago when the Lord called me to become authentic I realized that I had to stop trying to be perfect and start being real.

Isn’t it true that even if we strive to be perfect that it doesn’t stop the negative memories and feelings from surfacing? Through years of personal counseling, and sharing heart to heart with other victims of abuse I began to face the all-consuming issue of abuse. When I strived to be the perfect wife I learned that my quest for perfection actually alienated my husband, when I tried to be the perfect mother I found that I was controlling towards my children, when I strove to be perfect in my job, never allowing myself to fail, I burned out.

A quote from Ann Lamont says; “Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor.”

And from David M. Burns: “Remember that fear always lurks behind perfectionism. Confronting your fears and allowing yourself the right to be human can, paradoxically, make you a far happier and more productive person.”

As victims of abuse we often seek perfection in order to stop the pain or to avoid future pain. It doesn’t work. Seeking perfection just sets us up for failure, because no one is perfect. Instead I believe that as we seek to be real, it is much easier and far better for us. What a breath of fresh air when we choose to enjoy life as a journey rather than perfection as a destination.

Once we recognize our inability to live a perfect life, is there any value in admitting our failings or weaknesses to others? Should we not continue to hide them, what if admitting them causes those who are weaker in the faith to stumble?

 On the contrary~perhaps the presence of weakness in our lives leaves room for the power of God to shine through us by His abundant grace. 2Corintians 4:7 states: “We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves”

Paul is telling us here that God receives the maximum glory when others can clearly see that we, in our natural state, cannot measure up to His perfection. So perhaps it is as we minister to others they will know the blessings they receive could not possibly come from us, imperfect as we are, but only from God Himself!!

This doesn’t mean that I go around telling everyone all of my weaknesses. Certainly God would not want us to walk around telling everyone everything we have ever done wrong.  But I believe that we need balance…. Yet how does this concept translate into our everyday life? I can make the choice to be real in every situation. Not hiding my true weaknesses just to “save face”….. I know that when I have confessed my sins to a fellow Christian, a close friend, that in doing so I received healing. I found that when I’ve shared an area of weakness with a dear friend, and asked her to encourage me in that area, God has overwhelmed me with His grace as I stepped into that area of faith.

Grace – God loves and accepts me, accepts you, even in our weaknesses.

Admitting our weakness opens the way for others to help free us from the pitfalls we face every day. One of my favorite verses stirs up that heart of encouragement. Hebrews 3:13 “But encourage one another day after day, as long as it is still called “today,” so that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin”

We need the encouragement from those around us to help keep our thoughts focused on the positive things in our lives, so that we will not fall into a self-critical mindset.

If we continue to hide our weaknesses, and continue striving for perfection, we will miss the great encouragement, blessings and healing we can receive from others.