I had a dream. In my dream there was a very steep hill. Two people were struggling to climb up the hill at the same time. One was climbing from the left. One was climbing from the right. The two people were each carrying a gift. They were making their way up the hill so that they could meet each other for the first time and exchange their gifts. When they finally reached the top, I noticed that both the people looked exactly alike. The two identical people exchanged their gifts and opened them. When they had unwrapped them, they held their gifts up next to each other and smiled. Each gift looked exactly like the other one.
Both the people are me. I am both the strong person who survived and the weak person who was ignored. I am both capable and helpless. I am both whole and broken. I am both forgiving and angry. I am both healed and deeply wounded.
The gift is that I know this. Because I know, I feel both stronger and more vulnerable than I have ever been before. Because I know, I feel both more courageous and more frightened than I used to be. Because I know, I feel both more prepared and less ready to live out the rest of my life. Because I know, I feel more truly myself than I even knew was possible. The gift is knowing the truth. The gift is being Me.
This speaks to me so deeply. I have felt this wrestling match going on inside me. Who am I ? Am I weak ? Am I strong? I am both. I have been denying the angry parts. Ashamed of my broken parts. Afraid to share these with anyone. I am also both of all of the above. I am me.
Debra your words are such a blessing to me this morning. Thank you for reminding me that I am not alone.
this is me…
wow… you too…
thank you for reading and posting
God bless you,
Lisa